How To Love Yourself Out of Toxic Relationships

Self-love is the best love and should be practiced by everyone. When we deny ourselves the love we deserve, we end up settling for any love that is given. Self-love is not selfish and should be viewed as an essential part of your journey to loving someone else. Loving oneself is all about putting your happiness first and taking care of your own mental and emotional needs. Self-love involves being your own cheerleader, motivator, and party planner.

Self-love is having dinner for one and enjoying your own company. Self-love is loving your imperfections and celebrating all your wins and accomplishments even if no one else does. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve. Raising the bar instead of lowering your expectations.

Self-love is knowing when to leave a relationship that drains you and makes you feel less than. Self-love is knowing that gaining weight does not lessen your value or cheapens your worth. Self-love is love despite failures, disappointments, and transgressions.

By practicing self-love, you are creating a lane for happiness, self-confidence, and the right partner to enter your life as an accessory to an already stunning outfit. Loving yourself is not always easy as we are our biggest critics but loving yourself is good for your emotional health.

Below I have listed ways to help you start/continue your self-love journey, and as always, please add your own.

1. Set healthy boundaries: By setting healthy boundaries you protect your peace. You decide who enters your space and who does not, and most importantly how you want to be treated. 

2. Affirmations: Create affirmations that are unique to your lifestyle and repeat them daily. Tell yourself each day how worthy you are. How lovable you are. How creative, talented, and successful you are. Speak life into yourself the same way you speak it into your children, friends, and partner. You are deserving of happiness.

3. Do not believe everything you think: There is a little voice inside our heads that keep us from overcoming our fears and trying new things. The little voice whose mission in life is to keep us fearful, stagnant, and anxiety ridden. Do not believe the voice. Listening to this voice prevents us from living our best lives. What you conceive you will achieve, change your thought pattern. Get pregnant with positivity 😉

4. Circle of Support: Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Having people around that loves and encourages you is food for the soul. Stay away from people who makes you question your worth, doubt your abilities, or compares you to others. Those people do not deserve to be a part of your life, and you should share this post with them. Reach out to family, friends, healers, whomever you need to help you through the tough times. Create a support system you can lean on through good times and bad.

5. No validation needed: Give up the urge to seek approval from others and do what makes you happy. You can be the kindest, sweetest person in the world and there will be someone who thinks you are not sweet or kind enough.

6. Be kind: Being kind to others costs nothing but gives a lot. Being kind makes us feel better about ourselves and amplifies the truth that you are an amazing human. Everybody may not be kind to you in return, but kindness looks good on you. Keep it up. Kindness keeps our stress level and anxiety low, improves your blood pressure and boosts your serotonin level.

7. Do what makes you happy: No explanation needed. Insert your own happiness routine here and go where the happiness resides.

8. Practice self-care: Loving yourself means taking care of yourself. Exercise, meditate, pray, nourish your body with healthy foods, take time off from work to relax, get enough sleep, enjoy good food and good company. Self-care is a luxury we all deserve and should make a priority.

9. Release the hurt: Let go of past hurts and begin the work to identify and heal your past traumas. This phase of loving yourself may be the hardest, but with a good support system or help from a mental health professional, it can be done successfully. When we let go of pain and hurt that no longer serves us, we increase our longevity, we give ourselves permission to lay our burdens down and move on. What happened in the past that caused pain and heartbreak cannot be changed, but remaining stagnant in the hurt prevents us from receiving the love we truly deserve.

10. Forgiveness: Forgive others, and while you are at it…forgive yourself. Forgiveness does not mean you are forgetting or excusing what someone has done to hurt you; forgiveness means you are taking back control of your life and bringing peace to your past.

Self-love is all about being kind, patient, and compassionate to yourself. When you love, value, and accept yourself, your feeling of self-worth is amplified and not contingent on your successes, failures, or criticism from others.