Robin Williams: You Will Be Missed

Robin Williams: July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014

The passing of Robin Williams has shocked everyone. How could a man that brought so much joy to others, be filled with so much pain. Pain that was so unbearable  he allegedly took his own life. Now I am saying allegedly as the news is still “fresh” and investigations have to be completed and we ( society) are all working with what the media has provided thus far. And we know the media…

A few semesters ago I took a class  that focused on suicide and the myths surrounding it.This class was an eye opener for me.
 Now we all suffer from depression in our lives at one point or another; and some people are better able to cope than others. I find that it is always easier to get out of a “funk” if you have a support system that is willing to go the extra mile with; and for you.  The book used for the course was entitled “Myths about Suicide” and is written by Thomas Joiner. In the myths discussed, the ones that stood out to me the most were (i) “Most People Who Die by Suicide Don’t Make Future Plans” and (ii) “You can Tell Who Will Die by Suicide by Their Appearance.”

According to the book, most people who die by suicide do not make future plans (myth).  This came as a surprise to me as I believed that individuals who were planning their suicide would not go out for lunch with their fathers, keep appointments, or go out and buy a new pair of shoes. BUT THEY DO. It was my belief that once an individual has made up their mind to end their life, they then begin to give their prize possessions away or stop paying their bills. But the perspectives and examples given in the text surprised me. 

Also, it should be  noted that most individuals who die by suicide do not usually leave notes. These individuals are at a crossroad and are battling between living and dying.

Another myth that was interesting to me was; “you can tell who will die by suicide by their appearance’.  It was interesting to note that the author pointed out that some people dress well for suicide, and these individuals usually dressed well for most things in their life.  It was my belief that when someone is contemplating suicide it’s because they feel as if they have nothing to live for and so they stop caring about their appearance. It is with this belief that I then assume that these individuals will neglect their appearance and their hygiene. The book brings things in perspective by pointing out that if the individual once dressed well and then starts to neglect their appearance that may be an indication that something is wrong, but not necessarily that the person is suicidal.

Joiner spoke about several myths related to suicide and suicidal behavior, but the one that seemed so familiar to me is the myth of “It’s Just a Cry for Help”. How many times have we read, heard, or may have even commented our self, on someone who has attempted suicide, or have spoken about suicide in the past only to brush it off with “ they are such attention seekers”.  “Talk is cheap”; however when it comes to an individual talking about suicide, it may be more costly than we think. I too have always heard that if someone spoke too much about suicide they are not being serious, but instead are seeking attention. This point is mostly expressed if said during a break up. Case in point is the story of Justine Winter, the teenager who during an argument with her boyfriend threatened suicide.  I am sure at first her boyfriend thought that her “talk was cheap” and that she was trying to get his attention and probably not go through his plans of breaking up with her. But how can we ever be certain whether an individual is being serious or not? As friends, family members, or acquaintances, when someone talks of suicide; we MUST take these “talk” as being serious.

Robin Williams was a gifted man, one that we probably thought had the world at his fingertips, yet he was apparently suffering deeply. It is stated in the media that he suffered from depression. Was he getting help ? Or was it brushed off with the notion that he will bounce back ? As a society we have become so fragile emotionally, and depending on our status we neglect or are too ashamed to seek help. We instead hide these emotions, these feelings of hopelessness, and put on a front for the whole world to see. But who are we truly fooling if behind closed doors we self medicate, self harm, or cry ourselves to sleep? Never be too afraid, ashamed, or too proud to ask for help…by just expressing your feelings to a family member or friend can sometimes mean the difference between life or death.

Rest in Peace Robin Williams. Hopefully your demons are now silenced.

You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.~ Robin Williams

Joiner, T. (2010). Myths about suicide. Boston: Harvard University Press.