Friendsgiving-Thanksgiving-Be thankful always.

Thanksgiving is the time of year when we reflect on all the things, we are thankful for. This year’s Thanksgiving is extra special for us all, as the most stringent of COVID restrictions have been lifted and we are able to celebrate with our family and friends in person. Feeling the warmth of their loving embrace, or the stares of judgement from our elders; scrutinizing tatted and pierced bodies, weight gain, weight loss, lovers of the same sex, opposite race, all get the complimentary welcome to the family embrace.

Newly divorced, single mothers, and independent aunties in the Benz with no man and no prospect all get the head nods of respect.  Giving thanks for everyone still with us in the flesh, those who are still able to bear the weight of the world as we know it, while still reeling from the after effects. 2020, a year that has given us much to be thankful for in 2021, and while it’s behind us we must give thanks for the roads ahead of us that are stained with its pain and blood. A road we will steadily rebuild because of our resilience.

Humans are resilient, and it’s in each other we find strength when we are unable to find it on our own. I attended my first Friendsgiving this year. Invited by an old friend, and in my anxiousness of what to expect I found new friends. Friendsgiving is now “my thing”. My thing because it came without judgement and lots of laughter, silliness, and joy, and in the mist of it all sisterhood. I found peace with people I have never met, peace with people who were welcoming to a newcomer, peace in the culinary culmination of cuisines from different cultures. Peace in silly party games, tarot readings and animated discussion on the various names for “Arroz con leche” and which country/island has bragging rights for the creation of Flan. 

Friendsgiving is important because it allows those who are away from family to celebrate with those who have become family. Friendsgiving is important because it brings solace to those who are estranged from their families, and in those hours the ability to forget trauma, pain, or feelings of rejection. Friendsgiving is important because it brings comfort to those who are alone during this holiday. Friendsgiving is important because whether or not you believe you have much to be thankful for, celebrating with friends is always a valid reason. Friendsgiving is important because supportive friendships are good for our mental health, providing a safe space of acceptance and belonging. Friendsgiving is important as it is the “chaser” before the hard drink of thanksgiving with family. 

This Thanksgiving if you find yourself cornered by your boundary crossing relative with inappropriate questions such as “why you ain’t married yet?” or “when are you going to have a baby?”; you can think of all the drunken fun you had with your friends the week before. If you did not have the opportunity to attend Friendsgiving this year, politely excuse yourself with “I don’t think that is any of your business” …solidifying your boundaries (should do this anyway).

I started this post to list things I’m thankful for, and it turned into a campaign for Friendsgiving…and I’m not mad at all. But in the interest of time, here are five things I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving (in no order). History of the holiday aside (had to slide that in), what are you most thankful for?

1.       Friends

2.       Family 

3.       Food on my table

4.       Those who read this Blog

5. The ability to be…

Be sure to checkout my podcast Dr. Tamaru Speaks for more. Available on all podcast platforms ❤️ #thankful

https://www.spreaker.com/episode/47657798